August 30th, 2019. 3:53 PM. Petty Theft. 19-Year-Old White Male, 5’10”. The perp is observed hiding underclothes on his person and the incident is reported to the Loss Prevention Officer on duty. The suspect is detained and brought into the office for questioning. There, the guard finds the stolen goods, and continues to interrogate the suspect. The perp’s excuse is comical, as this chab claims it was laundry day and this chab ran out of clean underclothes. The officer is unhappy with this response and threatens to call the authorities to handle the situation. After a mutually acquiesced upon compromise, the suspect is allowed to leave the store out of law involvement. The rest of this case is classified.